Pushing it...

I'm seriously trying to push myself as an "artist". Partially because I want to get better but another reason being that I HAVE to get better. I don't know. I feel I have something to prove and I'm never actually fully satisfied with what I do...I guess thats a good thing because it keeps me on my toes and makes me want to improve more and more each time. But for some odd reason I keep making small simple mistakes that I should be catching by now...I'll get it right one of these days. My shoulder is still bother me. >:V I need to get that looked at.

But I drew another picture of Nora [[posted at the end]] because I wasn't to happy with the other one that I did of here [[I haven't posted it up yet]] but she really liked it! Some of her friends did as well! :D which is good because it means that I'm getting some sort of exposure but its also bad because people are starting to just use me for my art. And since I don't really charge anything for it I let them get away with it. :/ I got a friend request from some guy asking me about my art. Thing is I don't know him. I'm all open for making new friends and then they be like, "Hey can you draw me?" But it doesn't seem to be happening that way. Its more like hey I'll just befriend him for his art. Not to get to know him as an individual. :/ which kinda erks my nerves. I could just tell them no I'm not going to draw you but I've always been bad at telling people "no". Its like a double edged sword actually...

I don't know. I need to set new rules on my art or something.
And I need to improve as an artist in general....

We'll see what happens though.

Art dump pt. 1

 I've been having a lot of issues with muscle aches as of recent. Its really starting to bother the hell out of me. :/ I don't know. I guess because I'm sleeping wrong but its really starting to bother me.

I have enemies...

Not really a surprise. I'm well aware that there are people who don't like me. Because well there are people that I'm not quite fond of myself. Thats life. Not everyone is going to like you. I don't really care if you do or don't because well I'm me and you'll either like me or hate me. Either or is fine with me. Anyways moving on. So there's this douche on this site I hang around [[waste my time pretty much]] goes by the name of Despain, Missiningo, The Engineer and various other alias. Well he's got it out for me for some odd reason. I guess its because I'm black. As he's made some pretty racist comments towards me in the past. But it goes over me because well I'm not really one to let racism get to me. Anyways but he has it out for me because I use smileys! [[ie: :) :( :/ :V]] things like that. Among other things. I got temporarily banned [[it was lifted]] because he doesn't think I'm funny [[which is fine because some people think I am while others don't.]] but apparently this guy hates me. Like seriously has it out for me. I got a Pm from a moderator [[Thank goodness she's got my back]] letting me know that I'm on his "shit-list" which I've heard that term way to many times in the past from my father. :/ anyways so she just told me to keep my head low, don't post in "nfg" and other things. Which is fine I guess. Rmxp.org is a fucking mad house now. I like it because its a good place but seriously there are some dicks there. Despain being one of them. :/ but most people know that. I figured he would come after me sooner or later. I guess I'm kinda taken by surprise because I DID like him as a person but now that he's on my ass I can't say that I'm fond of him. But its whatever. I'll fight that douche if need be. Because he's an overweight gorilla-bear looking man. And well I'm not intimidated by him because of the fact that he's just another asshole that you meet online. Kinda like the ignorant people you run into at stores. He'd be one of those. Either ways though yeah Despain doesn't like me. :D congrats dude. Join the club. I don't know I don't really care either. Ahh well this'll pass. I'm just going to keep my head low on rmxp for a while. Its times like these that I'm reminded of why I left that long time ago actually...

Special thanks goes out to Venetia for having my back though. Thanks dearly deary!

The problem with...

Ale.

Is the fact that my "friends" Amy and Ana seem to have a problem with. Which I'm fine. I'm not saying you have to like who I'm with. I honestly don't care. But the fact of the matter is they're trying to make me out to be some kind of idiot for no fucking reason at all. Just because I have feelings for her [[surprise!]] I'm an idiot because of "intuition". Seriously? What the fuck is that? Intuition is a hunch. Its something that you think is right but you don't know for sure. Why the fuck would I throw away what I have with Ale just because of SOMEONE ELSE'S intuition? That literally makes no sense. Its a silly little argument.Because they're both trying to get the best of me and in reality they don't know exactly what they're talking about. Again though I'm not saying you have to like who I'm with. As long as they make me happy thats all that really matters y'know? I just wish they'd see that and let me make my own mistake[s]. If there even is one. I'm not saying I'm going to marry her, geez life could once again fuck me over. I never said I was going to complain to them either. But they keep bringing up my past relationships like its a valid excuse. I'm in love at the moment [[at least I think so?]] and I've been in love before. As is the thing with being young and in love shit happens and it could quickly go south in a matter of minutes. The thing about it is while I guess they have good intentions [[guess being the key word]] they're going about this entirely wrong. :/ Like seriously. I'm not a baby, I can make my own mistakes and this is just going to have to be one that I have to learn on my own. And if so then well I've been on my own before. Its nothing new now. They just don't understand I'm pretty happy at the moment. Things with Ale are good and just because of some past mistakes or something [[I'm not even sure of what]] they're all down my throat.

I called Ana [[which was a mistake to begin with]] just to see how she's doing. I didn't mention Ale or anything I wanted to see if she's okay because I had heard that she had gotten into a serious argument with her boyfriend. But I'm met with a personal attack about Ale. Like seriously? Its bad enough most of the time you act like you don't want to talk to me but when I do want to try to have a 'normal' conversation with you [[I'm talking about Ana]] you explode at me for no reason at all! And gawd knows that both of them are as stubborn as ever when it comes to things like this. Especially Ana. :/ but the fact of the matter is that I don't have a problem with Ale. They do. We're at odds ends and at a stand still. So now I'm not even sure whats up with this whole situation at the moment....

Gotta love teenage drama eh?

Betrayed...

By people who I thought were my 'friends' by people who do shit behind my back and leave me to figure all this shit out on my own.

I'm of course talking about Ale and "Bryan".

Ale had good intentions [[I'm guessing. I'm in defense mode so I don't know what to believe]] but Bryan is fucked up.

Straight up.

I guess something as trivial as a girl can ruin friendships. Its ruined a really good one of mine in the past [[which wasn't worth it]] and its ruining this one in the present [[which for damn sure ain't worth it]]

But thats just because there is some suspect bullshit going on. Some high school bullshit as well as some just plain stupidity at work.

And yeah I'm fucking pissed. I'll get over this shit though. I've been fucked over way worse in the past. No lies about it.

Good intentions or not.

People fucked up.

And they fucked up real bad.

I found out.

And they think I'm fucking kidding.
But I'm dead fucking serious.

So to all you fake ass 'friends'

I guess I'm just hurt by all of this. Like I said I'm in defense mode.
But seriously shit has taken a major step back.

FUCK YOU!

Update on the uptake...

I work at Zumiez now.

Has to have been one of the strangest if not funnest [[is that even a word?]] interview that I've been too.

Seriously. I don't even know what was up with it. All I know is 30 people showed up; I got picked 2nd out of 10 and that ain't bad. :]

Anyways I start work Oct. 6 so I'm kinda giddy, nervous, and all sorts of other things about it.

We'll see how it goes.

Anyways just dropping off the new art!

'Kato the model'
She put it up on her myspace!

See lately lately lastly...I would love for you to ask me..

Lmao this is so lame. Ale wanted me to do it so I did it.

XD I was laughing the entire time I did it too!



>:3

Its been a while hasn't it?

Wow its been A LONG LONG time since I've updated. Hahaha. I'm more than certain that the small handful of you that happen to glance upon this blog may be wondering what I'm up to as of late?

well I'll tell you.

NOTHING.

I took like a month and 2 weeks off from skating [[biggest mistake ever]]
And now I can barely do anything on a skateboard. :/ that sucks.

BUT I have been drawing.
Oh yes while I've been away I've managed to accumilate a nice little collection of digital paintings and such. :]

So thats good.

I need to look into college's. My dad is turning me towards full sail college in Florida. Its caught my attention like crazy. :] thats good. Real good.

I have no job because of well I don't know. I can't seem to get hired though. :/

Anyways! Enough blab. Here's the artwork!

[[worst-best in my opinion]]

Its like Darwin's Chart or something. :] The last two are my personal favorites.

Emme dear and Ale










Stay up.

:]

Hey there blogger fans and readers!
Long time no post eh?
I've been really busy as of late. Like super busy.

I'll give you the quick rundown of whats been going on.

-Graduated from High school
-Started to pursue a career in skating
-Learned Tre Flips! [[360 kickflips]]
-Started dating a[n] amazing girl named Ale :] [[see two posts ago]]
-Been spending time with my friends
-Gave up pursuing career as a skater due to the fact that I want to draw.
-Myspace.

And thats pretty much it. I'm free from high school. And all my complaints of not having a girlfriend finally got me one. Hah thats a horrible thing to say. But seriously though. Ale's pretty great. She's a really chill, goofy, athletic, smart girl. :] a change of things from other girls I've dated in the past [[not saying they're dumb or anything its just none were athletic]] anyways. Yeah she has this kick ass personality and it makes me happy. She makes me happy. I would talk about her but I can sum it up in two words; she's great! [[hahah Tony the tiger?]] Anyways we're taking things slow. I don't want to rush into things and I'm actually enjoying not worrying about love and all of that stuff. I'm just enjoying her presence and the great things she does and says that makes me laugh. Either way things are pretty good at the moment. Lets see how long it last though. Dum dum dunnnnnn.

;]

I'm also taking some time off from drawing. Hopefully I'll have new things to show when I can get my hands on a scanner but at the moment I'm going to do other things. I do still draw though! Don't get it twisted. I'm just on "vacation" so to speak.

Stay up.

I'm coming out....

Of a serious art block. :] thank goodness as well because I was starting to believe I'd lost the ability to draw. Hah. Luckily it came back if not better than before. So I couldn't be happier about that for real.

Not really much to post as of late seeing as how I haven't taken the time to draw a complete piece. I've just been doodling around and things like that. Getting the swing of things.

So here are some headshots to keep you happy.

Enjoy!



Stay up.

Art....

Fast post.

Art Block...

Isn't it great? Not actually. Anyways since I finished up my portfolio it seems I've hit a bit of art block. I can't draw anything decent looking and its making me angry. :/ real angry. Anyways to make up here are a couple of sketches that I managed to whip up [[and I'm not even impressed with them at all]] but still gotta show something. I hope it passes. I hate not being able to think correctly. It sucks.

Stay up.

Brenda D...

Is the coolest person I know.
For real.
One of the best and thats why she's one of my favorite people to spend time with.

Its always something fun whenever she is around and its never dull. She just makes life fun. :D

She's calm, collective, funny as hell, and just all around great. I couldn't ask for a better friend than her. And I wouldn't replace her for anybody in the world. No doubt about it Brenda D. is the coolest person I know. :D congrats loser I mentioned you. >;]
Just kidding but love you loser you're are the bee's knees. Hahaha.

Anyways all things aside. I should have my debt issues cleared up partially [[see last post]] So now I should only have to pay $31 USD to insure that I graduate. :D took hours of searching but I managed to find all of my receipts from the past 4 years for school. Hahaha. Good stuff.

I have new art I'm not to sure if I want to post it or not. And is it just me or are the colors on that spiderman sketch kinda bleh? I hate it so I'll probably just post the pencil version or something. Make some lineart. I don't know.

We recently switched to Vista. After upgrading our computer of course. And now my version of Photoshop doesn't work. :/ how lame is that? Very if you ask me.

Vista seems to have a lot of problems I'm noticing. Besides the cool sleek look and things like that it sure is riddled with problems that make it not worth it. Oh well in due time I guess. I just gotta get used to it or something like that.

Anyways here you go. I'm going to throw some color on some of these but looking at the way they're drawn I'm not to happy with them. :/







































































































And my final piece of this entry. Instead of doing my work like I'm supposed to do I usually see if there is an open page [[usually on the back of a packet]] and I draw. It was fun doing this and I think the end result [[although not finished]] came out looking pretty solid. :] and thats all I can ask for I guess.

Stay up.

Debt...

About to graduate from high school and I figure out that I'm in fucking debt. I knew I was in debt but not as bad as this. I apparently owe them about $135.97 USD. I gotta find a way to come up with the money or else I'm not going to graduate. :/ buy some art? It'd really help out. I'm going to see if I can't get most of this removed because I'm being charged for shit I have no knowledge of. Great. Just great. Life likes to fuck me over really good at times.

My good friend and long time running mate Jesse gave me this interesting card for a gallery. I figured I'd give them a look and see what they're all about. :] could be insightful. Yeah something like that.

Well I have new art [[finally]] it just needs some colors thrown down on it. Then I'll post it so until then here's a Spiderman sketch to hold you over until I get the rest done and things like that.
Enjoy!




Stay up.

12 year old...

Hey there just checking in because its been a while. I do still draw people,
I'm not dead, no I didn't kill a cat, and yes I'm still the same ol' me [[If not a tad bit more grumpier due to aging I guess?]]

Anyways its about time I post something on here since my last post was a long long time ago. The 22nd I believe? Anyways I have a shit load [[and I mean a shit load]] of art to post. You see we [[the seniors at our school]] got the week off pretty much because of standardized testing [[TAKS aka Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills]] and since I passed all of mine I don't have to worry about those babies. Now all I need to do is worry about passing and I'm out of high school! This is my last month at that place and hopefully all goes well, got prom [[where I'll be escorting the lovely and beautiful Erendira :] ]] as well as graduation! Lots of things are going down this month...For real...Busy busy busy. Anyways yeah I have a lot of drawings. I spent my week of drawing [[in between sessions of GTA IV of course]] and thats about it. Hell I'm even drawing while typing this up! Hah. So hopefully I'll have something to show. I know I will actually. Just be on the look out for it!

Moving on...

I recently took a trip to my local comic shop [[I think it was local?]] and decided to pick up a few issues for studies and whatnot. Well they had this little package of 5lbs of comics for 5 bucks. No way in hell I was passing that up. Got some pretty solid stuff. Including some 12 year old Kool-aid! Hahaha some of those comics were as old as I am. If not older. Pretty good buy if I do say so myself. Now most of them just collect dust. Hah. I'm horrible I know. I have browsed though them though and I've seen a lot of valuable things that'll further help me into pursuing a career as a "graphic novelist" comic artist. :] wish me luck!

Speaking of which.

My portfolio. I have no idea whats going on with it...I was supposed to work on it this entire week but I decided to ditch that idea and enjoy my off time. A decision I'll later regret? I don't know. I'm not to particularly [[weird word]] happy with it. Partially because most of the stuff in there is really old and I've improved greatly as an artist from say last year. Bleh. :/ apparently according to the teach I'm to "hard on myself" but I'm only that way with my art because I'm striving to become one of the best. You may something great and amazing when I put pencil to paper and manage to pull something out of my ass. I see nothing but flaws, proportion errors, and all sorts of other things. Thats why I'm hard on myself because I want to be great at what I love to do...Women. >:D hahaha no not women but drawing, art, cartoons and things like that. I don't know. I'm picky. Jeez.

Anyways...

High school drama for me has managed to make a major climb in recent days. Awesome. Just awesome. Friend issues, girl issues, money issues, people issues and all sorts of things like that. Its exhausting. I'm trying to keep my head out of it. But somehow it manages to find its way to me. :/ Lame. Oh well just 6 more weeks and I'm done with High school forever! Yay. But I'm also going to miss it when I leave it behind. :/ oh well it comes with growing up. Yeah something like that.


Also...

I've been talking to my ex's [[the one's that talk to me that is.]] Amy and Jasmin. Amy always has such insightful things, she really listens to my problems and even insists on trying to help me through them, she doesn't just skoff at me and laugh at me or call me a emo bitch or things like that. She actually takes time out of her busy life to help lil ol' me out when I'm feeling down or whatever. I can't thank her enough for that for real. Really great girl. Good beliefs and things like that. Shame we aren't together anymore. :/ Oh well she's found love again and I'm glad for her. :] Anyways the main thing I usually talk to her about is my relationship status and why they never seem to hold or why I can't seem to have love. Of course its always a downward spiral for me because I'm negative when it comes to love I think? But somehow she manages to put up with my shit for a while, offer insight, make me laugh and make me think that things aren't that bad and sooner or later [[better be soon]] I'll actually find someone who'll love me and not want to let go. Of course its false hope; no doubt about it. But its good to have someone give me that false hope for once instead of vice versa. :] makes me feel a tad bit better about myself. Anyways Amy's great. Couldn't ask for a better friend. Still hate being single though. :/ shit sucks because everyone [[and I mean everyone]] has some romance going on. Not me though. For real whats the deal there? I just want the simple things. I want to love and be loved back. Not to much to ask for right? WRONG!

*Sigh* One of these days...One of these days.

I'm tired so I guess this is it for now.
[[I'll try to get the art up ASAP]]

Stay up.

Mental issues...

Apparently I seem to be having a few.
I'll be back in a while I guess...
I haven't drawn or felt like drawing for a while now...

So yeah just posting I guess...


and no I'm not sad you ass. I'm just not feeling like doing much right now. I'll be back once I get out of this rut.

Stay up.

Photoshop woe...

Gotta post this fast running out of time. I have way to much to do...

Working on this painting but photoshop doesn't want to agree with me. :/



I'll work on it later. :p

Stay up.

Updating...

Just posting. I'll try to get this painted and updated ASAP. Having computer issues here at school. :/ as usual....

See if you can spot the differences!

EDIT:
Here are the colors. :] yes behold my lack of ability to draw backgrounds. Hahaha

Stay up.

I think I'm crazy...

Or at least making my ways slowly but surely towards it. Hahaha. I don't know...its odd. Anyways lots of new art! I'll have to put them all in order at a later time.



This is the last little bit I put on the Naruto fanart pic that I did. I grew tired of working on it and my schedule forced me to move onto other things. But maybe I'll pick it up at a later date. :]





















A drawing for my AP portfolio. Its supposed to be Lilo [[a friend of Eren's]] but I still need to tweak it a little to make it look like her truly. But for the most part this is what I got for only about 2 hours of work. Ignore the giant sharpie mark. It was already on the board when I started. :/




















This is the replacement for the horrible picture thats in my previous post. The one I did on the back of my sketchbook. That was a big mistake. I'm never doing a piece in ink all the way until I reach near Jim Lee status. But this is much easier on the eye and it looks absolutely amazing. I actually like it. :]





















A page that I'm doing for my portfolio. Its probably going to be the last page I do for the year. Its being really hard to ink as well. :/ seems like none of my sharpies want to work for me...Oh well I'll try to finish it up. Behold my shitty ass inability to write words straight or draw boxes! XD





















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A couple of sketches, A Metal Gear pic I'm working on for fun, An [[unfinished]] page for my portfolio. :] inking its going to be a bitch to finish. :/ and a face that I'm thinking about painting to keep my skills sharp.

Stay up.

Underwater...

Just a WIP [[Work in Progress]] for now. I whipped this up in about 10 minutes and threw some flats [[colors]] on it in about 3 minutes. :]
I'm having trouble with getting photoshop to cooperate with me at the moment so I'm putting this aside and I'm going to try to draw something else up before time is up.

I'm also being forced to troubleshoot this damn MAC and I don't understand a word of whats going on. *Sigh* its rather cumbersome if not down right dull. :/


Enjoy!



Stay up.

Feeling...

Rather emo today.

Not actually but I'm really nervous. I think I did something that I'm going to end up seriously regretting. Only time will tell I guess. Anyways just posting art.

A page I'm working on as well! I don't like the inks though.
Its because I'm using some new Bristol board. Its sturdy as hell no doubt about it. But it has way to much tooth on it. Makes it hard for the sharpie [[thats what I use for inks]] to lay down correctly and it comes out jaggy. :/ but it does hold pencil pretty well. :] I might stick with it I might not. Only time will tell....




A nice little Naruto sketch that I'm working on. I want to continue on it but I'm rather proud of it. :]


A drawing on the back of my sketchbook. I know its shitty I messed up on it. But since I did it in sharpie, chalk pencil, and whiteout I can't adjust it. :/ oh well enjoy!



And finally a work in progress page that I need to finish up for my portfolio. I hate how the letters aren't straight as well as the boxes....

I'm out. I need to get things done.

EDIT:
I decided to put some flats on the naruto sketch that I posted earlier. I'm rather happy with the results so far. :]



Here's something I whipped up in about 3 mintues due to time. I'll finish it up later.
TEAM KITTY FTW! XD


Stay up.

Lack of updates....

Sorry about the lack of updates. I'm trying to get back into the swing of things but things are going pretty hectic at the moment. I've been dealing with other people's relationship issues [[giving them false hope and things like that]] and trying to cheer people up who are sad and stuff. :p its a very time consuming if not frustrating task....Blah. But its cool because it helps someone out I guess...

Anyways I'm in an art show. I'm short on time so I'm going to keep this short and to the point. I'll come back and update it later...

I keep trying to draw things today but my hand doesn't want to work properly...Speaking of which my entire body is hurting for some odd reason. I don't know whats going on but yeah....It hurts. Hahaha.

I'm giving blood today! Should be interesting none the less...

Here's some art and stuff that I've done from Spring break/for my portfolio [[had to scrap the one with the girl and the gun because it had guns in it. :/ go figure.]] Anyways enjoy!

Also a comparison of one of my pages that I finished up on. Can you spot the differences?



And heres just randomness I guess.




Stay up.