Pushing it...

I'm seriously trying to push myself as an "artist". Partially because I want to get better but another reason being that I HAVE to get better. I don't know. I feel I have something to prove and I'm never actually fully satisfied with what I do...I guess thats a good thing because it keeps me on my toes and makes me want to improve more and more each time. But for some odd reason I keep making small simple mistakes that I should be catching by now...I'll get it right one of these days. My shoulder is still bother me. >:V I need to get that looked at.

But I drew another picture of Nora [[posted at the end]] because I wasn't to happy with the other one that I did of here [[I haven't posted it up yet]] but she really liked it! Some of her friends did as well! :D which is good because it means that I'm getting some sort of exposure but its also bad because people are starting to just use me for my art. And since I don't really charge anything for it I let them get away with it. :/ I got a friend request from some guy asking me about my art. Thing is I don't know him. I'm all open for making new friends and then they be like, "Hey can you draw me?" But it doesn't seem to be happening that way. Its more like hey I'll just befriend him for his art. Not to get to know him as an individual. :/ which kinda erks my nerves. I could just tell them no I'm not going to draw you but I've always been bad at telling people "no". Its like a double edged sword actually...

I don't know. I need to set new rules on my art or something.
And I need to improve as an artist in general....

We'll see what happens though.

Monday one day, Tuesday two day, wendnesday what day? Thursday!

Has to be one of my favorite quotes from FRIENDS. Joey is a trip. For real. Good show. :/

Anyways here at school...
Its tuesday. I'd rather not be here but I have stuff to do.

Going to get checked up on thursday. Should be a blast.
Then its off to Waco Texas on Friday. :D

Got lots of art to work on for the competition.
I have to start over because someone "misplaced my freaking finished draft. :/
Not fun.

Anyways I don't have to go to 7th period today because of ELA [[English Language Arts]] testing academy.
And since I'm a senior [[and I passed all my exit exams.]] I don't have to go to 7th period! And also since I'm retaking a junior level class [[I failed it last year.]] then yeah there are only a couple of seniors in there. So I figured I'd ditch because the teach threatened that if we acted up while she wasn't there we can just forget about graduation. And since I need to graduate [[since I want to get the hell out of here]] I'm not going today....but that means I have to find something to do....Hrmmm...?

Anyways had a great dream last night. :D It was pretty damn awesome. Started off my day great.
I want to see my sister though. Venessa where are you?

I also need to talk to Kim....

Saw Nora as well.
She's always so happy and energetic. Hahaha.
It was great.
I was tired.
She was full of energy.
Made me smile.

And now I'm sitting here with a half drawn Texas in front of me and typing this blog.

Jasmine [[a rather loud, but cool girl]] is talking about Chad Michael Murray. He's a complete homo. No offense.
Hate the guy. Just like Ryan Sheckler. Maybe I'm jealous of them? NAH!

Had a pretty good laugh at my friend Jeanette in class because she didn't know what CS2 stood for. And we've been using it for about 3 years now? Funny stuff. And we laughed at my sickness and my inability to get anything done on time. Hahaha. Good stuff.

Saw Jumper [[Jumpers?]] Yesterday. Not a bad movie. Not the greatest but it wasn't bad.
Samuel Jackson with all white hair= funniness to the max.

Got raped yesterday! Hahaha that sounds bad....It wasn't that bad actually. Meh.
My head is somewhere else though...Feelings and stuff.

Ahh tuesday...We'll see what you have in store for me.



Here's some sketchyness I threw down while taking a break from doing shirt designs. Just experimenting with new styles and stuff. Want to get a solid style that I like y'know? Enjoy!

Stay up.

Midnight conversations. Hope for us yet?

Hrmm actually very something interesting. Since I'm in the midst of a conversation with Nora about her feelings for her ex-boy and relationships [[I seem to talk to her about relationships alot. Keeps things interesting though]] I'd figure I'd post my thoughts on the whole thing.

Love, dating, sex and all of that stuff which I guess falls under the category of "affection" is all one big risk. Its a risk that two people have to take "together" to ensure that it works out. It may not always work out in the end actually [[as I'm know and accustomed to]] But still its all one big risk. P.O.D. even said, "The hardest part of holding on is letting it go." But what if letting it go was a mistake? What if the end was brought about by something that wasn't in your control? What if you aren't ready to let go just yet? Does that mean that its to late to get it back? Does that mean that you've made the biggest mistake of your life by letting go of something so great? Maybe. But thats not to say that its quite true. I mean I've seen weirder things happen. And even some of the happiest married couples have had their fair share of breakups and "time apart" and ultimately in the end they realized that it was the other person who "completed" them. They ultimately realized that they didn't want anybody else because what they wanted was right in front of them the entire time. Things like that y'know? Take relationships and things like that as one big gamble. Sometimes you hit, sometimes you miss. Some people actually get lucky and hit the jackpot on the first try [[but thats a rare occasion]] and sometimes you can't win. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah its never to late to get back something you let go. Well okay I don't want to say never because some people can't wait forever and things like that. But I mean sometimes its the time apart that people need to realize that they don't want any others [[I wanted to say no other]] because the one that makes them most happiest is the one they want to be with. The whole affiar got me thinking...Anyways where was I...? OH yeah! Now some people don't realize it right away and some never realize it but in the end things like this have a strange habit of working themselves out. It means there's hope for us yet as humans. :D

Its all one big risk. You gotta be willing to take it not expecting to know whats going to happen. But hoping that the best happens...For real.

Gawd I miss Kim. :/
Probably the last thing on her mind though and that just about sucks.

For real.

Anyways peep this!

Take two of the first drawing of me. I adore it. Makes me smile whenever I see it on this blog. Also makes me feel like something is seriously missing....

Damn man...


Stay up.