The problem with...

Ale.

Is the fact that my "friends" Amy and Ana seem to have a problem with. Which I'm fine. I'm not saying you have to like who I'm with. I honestly don't care. But the fact of the matter is they're trying to make me out to be some kind of idiot for no fucking reason at all. Just because I have feelings for her [[surprise!]] I'm an idiot because of "intuition". Seriously? What the fuck is that? Intuition is a hunch. Its something that you think is right but you don't know for sure. Why the fuck would I throw away what I have with Ale just because of SOMEONE ELSE'S intuition? That literally makes no sense. Its a silly little argument.Because they're both trying to get the best of me and in reality they don't know exactly what they're talking about. Again though I'm not saying you have to like who I'm with. As long as they make me happy thats all that really matters y'know? I just wish they'd see that and let me make my own mistake[s]. If there even is one. I'm not saying I'm going to marry her, geez life could once again fuck me over. I never said I was going to complain to them either. But they keep bringing up my past relationships like its a valid excuse. I'm in love at the moment [[at least I think so?]] and I've been in love before. As is the thing with being young and in love shit happens and it could quickly go south in a matter of minutes. The thing about it is while I guess they have good intentions [[guess being the key word]] they're going about this entirely wrong. :/ Like seriously. I'm not a baby, I can make my own mistakes and this is just going to have to be one that I have to learn on my own. And if so then well I've been on my own before. Its nothing new now. They just don't understand I'm pretty happy at the moment. Things with Ale are good and just because of some past mistakes or something [[I'm not even sure of what]] they're all down my throat.

I called Ana [[which was a mistake to begin with]] just to see how she's doing. I didn't mention Ale or anything I wanted to see if she's okay because I had heard that she had gotten into a serious argument with her boyfriend. But I'm met with a personal attack about Ale. Like seriously? Its bad enough most of the time you act like you don't want to talk to me but when I do want to try to have a 'normal' conversation with you [[I'm talking about Ana]] you explode at me for no reason at all! And gawd knows that both of them are as stubborn as ever when it comes to things like this. Especially Ana. :/ but the fact of the matter is that I don't have a problem with Ale. They do. We're at odds ends and at a stand still. So now I'm not even sure whats up with this whole situation at the moment....

Gotta love teenage drama eh?

12 year old...

Hey there just checking in because its been a while. I do still draw people,
I'm not dead, no I didn't kill a cat, and yes I'm still the same ol' me [[If not a tad bit more grumpier due to aging I guess?]]

Anyways its about time I post something on here since my last post was a long long time ago. The 22nd I believe? Anyways I have a shit load [[and I mean a shit load]] of art to post. You see we [[the seniors at our school]] got the week off pretty much because of standardized testing [[TAKS aka Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills]] and since I passed all of mine I don't have to worry about those babies. Now all I need to do is worry about passing and I'm out of high school! This is my last month at that place and hopefully all goes well, got prom [[where I'll be escorting the lovely and beautiful Erendira :] ]] as well as graduation! Lots of things are going down this month...For real...Busy busy busy. Anyways yeah I have a lot of drawings. I spent my week of drawing [[in between sessions of GTA IV of course]] and thats about it. Hell I'm even drawing while typing this up! Hah. So hopefully I'll have something to show. I know I will actually. Just be on the look out for it!

Moving on...

I recently took a trip to my local comic shop [[I think it was local?]] and decided to pick up a few issues for studies and whatnot. Well they had this little package of 5lbs of comics for 5 bucks. No way in hell I was passing that up. Got some pretty solid stuff. Including some 12 year old Kool-aid! Hahaha some of those comics were as old as I am. If not older. Pretty good buy if I do say so myself. Now most of them just collect dust. Hah. I'm horrible I know. I have browsed though them though and I've seen a lot of valuable things that'll further help me into pursuing a career as a "graphic novelist" comic artist. :] wish me luck!

Speaking of which.

My portfolio. I have no idea whats going on with it...I was supposed to work on it this entire week but I decided to ditch that idea and enjoy my off time. A decision I'll later regret? I don't know. I'm not to particularly [[weird word]] happy with it. Partially because most of the stuff in there is really old and I've improved greatly as an artist from say last year. Bleh. :/ apparently according to the teach I'm to "hard on myself" but I'm only that way with my art because I'm striving to become one of the best. You may something great and amazing when I put pencil to paper and manage to pull something out of my ass. I see nothing but flaws, proportion errors, and all sorts of other things. Thats why I'm hard on myself because I want to be great at what I love to do...Women. >:D hahaha no not women but drawing, art, cartoons and things like that. I don't know. I'm picky. Jeez.

Anyways...

High school drama for me has managed to make a major climb in recent days. Awesome. Just awesome. Friend issues, girl issues, money issues, people issues and all sorts of things like that. Its exhausting. I'm trying to keep my head out of it. But somehow it manages to find its way to me. :/ Lame. Oh well just 6 more weeks and I'm done with High school forever! Yay. But I'm also going to miss it when I leave it behind. :/ oh well it comes with growing up. Yeah something like that.


Also...

I've been talking to my ex's [[the one's that talk to me that is.]] Amy and Jasmin. Amy always has such insightful things, she really listens to my problems and even insists on trying to help me through them, she doesn't just skoff at me and laugh at me or call me a emo bitch or things like that. She actually takes time out of her busy life to help lil ol' me out when I'm feeling down or whatever. I can't thank her enough for that for real. Really great girl. Good beliefs and things like that. Shame we aren't together anymore. :/ Oh well she's found love again and I'm glad for her. :] Anyways the main thing I usually talk to her about is my relationship status and why they never seem to hold or why I can't seem to have love. Of course its always a downward spiral for me because I'm negative when it comes to love I think? But somehow she manages to put up with my shit for a while, offer insight, make me laugh and make me think that things aren't that bad and sooner or later [[better be soon]] I'll actually find someone who'll love me and not want to let go. Of course its false hope; no doubt about it. But its good to have someone give me that false hope for once instead of vice versa. :] makes me feel a tad bit better about myself. Anyways Amy's great. Couldn't ask for a better friend. Still hate being single though. :/ shit sucks because everyone [[and I mean everyone]] has some romance going on. Not me though. For real whats the deal there? I just want the simple things. I want to love and be loved back. Not to much to ask for right? WRONG!

*Sigh* One of these days...One of these days.

I'm tired so I guess this is it for now.
[[I'll try to get the art up ASAP]]

Stay up.