Would...

How weird would it be if I actually updated this thing? Almost three years after the fact I'm still on my hustle. Somewhere in-between a mad dash to finish college (finally) and being a dad (have a daughter btw) and torn by losing my father. These past few years have been the defining years of the rest of my life. 

 Feels good to be back; yet oh so familiar. 

 Inside the mind of the artist is this one. Meant to represent the never ending through process running through my head like an episode of steamboat Mickey but what it translates to in reality. 

Visit me here: http://www.facebook.com/artofsamples 

(stupid name I know) drop me a like and stay more up to date than this old thing.

Freelancin'

Got a job as a freelancer for a company. So thats what I spend most of my time doing nowadays. Pretty close to my dream job but not quite there. Oh well, can only go with the flow. :p

au revior

19, 20, 21...

Paramore Hello Cold World Lyrics


I feel happy, I feel sad, I feel like running through the walls
I'm overjoyed, I'm undecided, I don't know who I am
Well maybe I'm not perfect, at least I'm working on it

22 is like the worst idea that I have ever had
It's too much pain, it's too much freedom, what should I do with this?
It's not the way you plan it, it's how you make it happen

Yeah, it's how you make it happen

It's such a cold, cold world (hello cold world) and I can't get out
So I'll just make the best of everything I'll never have
Such a cold, cold world (hello cold world) and it's got me down
But I'll get right back up as long as it spins around
Hello cold world

Girls and boys keep lining up to see if they can measure up
They look good and they feel wild, but it won't never be enough
You say you're really hurting, at least you're feeling something

We can hope and we can pray that everything would work out fine
You can't just stay out on your knees, the revolution is outside
You wanna make a difference, get out and go and get it

Whoah, get out and go and get it

It's such a cold, cold world (hello cold world) and I can't get out
So I'll just make the best of everything I'll never have
Such a cold, cold world (hello cold world) and it's got me down
But I'll get right back up as long as it spins around
Hello cold world

Don't need my eyes open
Oh I, I just want to feel something

It's such a cold, cold world (hello cold world) and I can't get out
So I'll just make the best of everything I'll never have
Such a cold, cold world (hello cold world) and it's got me down
But I'll get right back up as long as it spins around (spins around)

Oh, whoah oh oh,
Oh, whoah oh oh, hello cold world
Oh, whoah oh oh,
Oh, whoah oh oh, hello cold world< Basically sums up how I feel at this current point in time. 22 is steadily appraching... Au revoir.

Remember Remember...

The month of November has been filled with absolutely nothing but D-R-A-M-A.

I figured I had abandoned all the drama in my life when I turned 21 and came to terms with the fact that the past was the past and I could do nothing to change it; therefore embrace what the where the world has left me today and the person I have become in this journey known simply as "life".

But that does not seem to be the case going into this month. I miss my days of innocence...When the world was so simple and I could find joy in just doing menial childish things. If I recall correctly when I was younger the adults would always tell us that life got easier as you got older. If I could remember who it was that told me these things I would surely punch them in the gut for being either incredibly naive or just a plain idiot.

Nonetheless I miss blogging.

I miss updating this thing but since I, like an idiot tied it to my gmail account and cannot unbind the damn thing by any means at all. Plus my youtube account had to be bound to my gmail account for my phone I often forget the password to this thing. Nonetheless I shall try to post more often here. And probably bitch a lot more...

Here's some pretty art for you to look at that ways its not just about me bitching.

I never finish anything I start nowadays.

Shame really.

Au revoir.

4th times a charm...

Or so I'm told.

Add another to that list of people I make feel insecure.


My girlfriend.
Clarissa.



Bringing the grand total to *Drum roll please*
4.



There you go.


Touche.

And just like that...

The world that made oh so much sense to me has once again fallen into the category of "unfair"

My father has fallen victim to a stroke. Happened monday, September 5 2011.
I got the call at 6:15 in the morning with my brother at a loss for words only simply saying, "Something is wrong with daddy..."
I arrived at Harris downtown promptly at 7 to find that my mother was completely in tears and speechless. Of course I did the only thing I could do for my mother; hug her.

He's been in the hospital since the 5th. His birthday was on the 1st.
He had just turned 48 and I had just talked to him to tell him happy birthday. He seemed so fine. Completely normal. He told me about his younger days and how women were always fighting over him. You wouldn't think it by looking at him now but my father used to be a handsome, strong man. Especially with that 18 inch afro he had going for him....

Its just crazy how the world is.
I literally was just talking to him the other day.

And now he doesn't even recognize his own sons...

He's sedated.
In an unstable condition. Unresponsive.

I don't want anything bad to happen to him. But I know this stroke has taken a lot from him already.

I can't even find the words to put into this stupid blog.

I'm completely stressed.

My life made so much sense not that long ago. And in an instant it makes no sense whatsoever.

Everything is falling apart. I'm barely holding on whilst fighting back tears.
I refuse to cry because I know if my father saw me like that he'd be like, "What are you crying for? You're a man save them for chick flicks." or something like that. I can't help but chuckle at the thought of him actually saying that.

How I'd love to hear him say that...

My thoughts are a scattered mess.

Stay up.

It's kind of a funny story...

...the way the world works out sometimes.

here we go again.

Speaking of which I cannot for the LIFE OF ME remember my stupid password! Very frustrating indeed. Seems like I've been neglecting the blog for a bit. Because I have. I've been neglecting art as well.

Completely.

I've lost sight of myself. My ways. Where I'm going. Who I'm heading there with.

A lot has happened...
Some for better. Some for worst.

Stay up.